Real women have curves

One thing that’s been really getting me down lately is how often I see people putting down one body type in order to raise another up. Comments like “real women have curves”, are commonly said with the intention of celebration more voluptuous women with fuller figures, however they imply that women with smaller body types are somehow lesser. Seeing as there is so much conversation about beauty standards, body positivity and body shaming lately, I thought this might be a good point to add into that discussion.

This concept of a “real woman” implies that all other women who do not fit in to  whatever description we’ve been given. I think that anyone who identifies as a woman is a woman. Your body shape or size does not define your womanhood. What does define you (as a person) is the way you treat others. Whether they are big, small, old, young … whatever. Don’t put other people down. Think before you make comments about someone else’s appearance. Basically, don’t be an asshole.There is no singular “right way” to have a body. Whether you’re fat, thin, or somewhere in between; whether you’re smoothed and toned or have lumps and bumps and bits that wobble, you have the right to exist in your body. And if you have that right, so does everybody else.

I feel a little bit like that girl from Mean Girls right now. You know the one. Why can’t we all just get along?

The amount of times I’ve heard someone calling a woman a “skinny bitch” or a “fat bitch” behind her back. Or seen people online saying “oh finally, a real woman” when a plus size model or a plus size non-model is shown. Men are guilty of these putdowns but so are women, and I think it’s done in different ways. From my experience, men do it in a way that objectifies women, judging them on whether or not they’re “fuckable”. The example below is all too common – especially online where you can hide behind anonymity. Here’s a heads up: no one actually cares whether you want to have sex with someone (who you will probably never meet) or not. It’s absolutely unnecessary to make comments like this. Just stop it.

 

 

When it comes to women it’s a bit more complicated. Sometimes it’s jealousy, sometimes it’s insecurity, and it starts young. It starts even before we are teenagers, when popular groups are formed at school and they tease someone over their differences – weight, skin colour, hair, glasses … it’s just nasty. Sometimes these judgements are things we learn from our peers, sometimes it is things we learn from our parents, our elders. I know I learned a lot of what I thought to be true about my body from family, and from the emails I get I know that a lot of you are the same. So think about the messages you’re giving the kids in your life. Think about how you would feel if someone made nasty comments about your body. Think before you speak.

Do you have anything to add about “real women”? Share your thoughts below!