Going to a concert with anxiety

I used to go to rock concerts all the time. I’ve seen some amazing bands over the years – until my anxiety started to become more of a problem for me and then I had to make the hard decision to stop going. I’m not very good around crowds, I suffer from panic attacks and to be honest it’s a real struggle. I recently got invited along to the Taylor Swift Reputation Tour concert here in Auckland and as someone who has been a Taylor Swift fan for the last ten years or so, I knew there was no way I could say no. I had to find a way to go to the concert and not have my anxiety be an issue. Easier said than done. I thought that since anxiety in big crowds seems to be quite common I’d share a few of the things that helped me have a great time and minimise my anxiety.

BEFORE THE CONCERT

I did a lot of planning before the concert and I think this made a massive difference to my anxiety and on the morning of the concert I was feeling super calm. When I mentioned that I was heading along to the concert, I asked on my Instagram and Facebook for any tips for someone who gets anxiety around crowds, and a few of them were definitely helpful.

I made sure to familiarise myself with the venue – I’ve been there before for the Big Day Out festivals back when I was a teenager (some 18 or so years ago), but the layout is very different for a single stage concert (and can change from concert to concert). I figured out where we were sitting and where the exits and entrances were, where we were parking and where we had to collect our tickets from.

Because I was invited along as a guest, I wasn’t sure what the seating arrangements were – I knew that some sections were standing and some were seated, and I wasn’t sure what the seats would be like. Usually this is research I would do before I booked my tickets, but in this case I just emailed the person who was my contact to make sure. If I was buying tickets I would definitely be buying seated ones, because after my surgery last year I just can’t stand up for that long (and plus I find that I get pushed about in crowds and it sets off my anxiety – at least with a seat I have my own space).

I went with my sister-in-law Emma, so I knew I was with someone I felt safe with (and Doug was there photographing as well). I also planned my outfit before I went – I knew it was due to rain on the night and there would be a lot of walking/standing so I wore clothes and shoes that I knew I’d be comfortable in and I made sure to wear my 17 Sundays Cartel Jacket so I’d be dry. I also took a cross body bag so I knew I wouldn’t have to worry about holding things. They do have a limit on bag sizes so I would definitely double check that with the venue before you go (I didn’t realise this, but luckily mine was quite small – I have the Winona bag from Velvet Heartbeat).

AT THE CONCERT

We arrived a little later than expected and there was a bit of confusion around where we were meant to park, which meant that I was feeling a little bit stressed. Luckily that was sorted eventually and because we had a carpark on site and had to arrive super early, we’d brought a picnic dinner with us so sat in the car and ate that. Just before the show we collected our tickets, then queued up at our assigned gate. This was where I started to get a bit panicky, so I put my sunglasses on and started doing some of the techniques I learned in therapy to calm myself down. Luckily we didn’t have to wait in the queue for too long, and soon we were in and I could go to the bathroom (anyone else need a nervous wee?) and open my bottle of water.

It took us a while to find where we were sitting and by that point I knew my anxiety levels were rising, but I also knew we’d be fine once we found our seats. We were very lucky to be invited by Taylor Nation to sit in Club Olivia (you honestly would not believe how much I screamed when I found that out), and once we were seated in there I could chill out a bit away from the crowds. I figured out where the nearest bathrooms were, scoped out the exits (I always find I am less anxious if I know that I have some kind of an escape route), and had a drink of water. We also chatted to the other people sitting in there and I was reminded of what I enjoy most about going to any gig big or small – sharing a mutual love of the music we’re there to listen to.

Obviously the show was AMAZING – Charli XCX opened, followed by a set from Kiwi duo Broods and then Taylor Swift came onstage and killed it. Everyone was dancing and singing along, and I forgot about my anxiety and lost myself in the moment. I’m not going to write a review of the show itself (you can read one by my friend Kate over at Ambient Light, and see some great photos from Doug too), but I did get a few clips from the day in my vlog. Not as many as I wanted and I had to limit how much I included in there because I don’t want to get in trouble for copyright, but hopefully it gives you an idea of the amazing vibe. There were loads of people dressed in the most amazing outfits, but I was too shy to ask people if I could grab a picture. Hopefully I get a bit more ballsy one day and can just bowl up to people and ask!

AFTER THE CONCERT

There’s always a mad rush for the exits, so we decided to avoid that. It was raining a bit, so we stayed under cover and let the first rush of people go before we slowly made our way out. A quick stop to go to the bathroom and then back to the car (where we met up with Doug). We had to wait a while before we were allowed to leave the carpark, and I had LOADS of anxious energy combined with excitement from the show so I used that time to chill out and have a drink and snack on some strawberries.

I am so very proud of myself for making it through the night – it might not seem like it to someone who doesn’t live with anxiety, but it’s a really big deal for me to go to massive events like this. Now that I’ve done it and I know that I was totally fine, part of me feels like the next time I go to something big like that will be just a bit easier – I hope so anyway! I know that a massive part of my experience being extra amazing was because of the opportunity I had to sit in Club Olivia and I’m so grateful to Taylor Swift and Taylor Nation for that, because it made the night less stressful and so much more enjoyable for me, and it’s given me the confidence to think about going to other concerts in the future.

As always when I’ve been around a lot of high energy people, I find myself really exhausted for a few days afterward. Such is the life of an introvert (I know, an introvert who shares her life on the internet, why do I do this to myself?) – I make sure I give myself a chance to recover and get extra rest, and I also gave myself permission to see as few people as possible while I got over the overwhelm of being surrounded by a crowd.

Do you have any tips for someone who gets anxiety around crowds?
Share them below (and let me know if you were at the concert!)