I’ve got a confession. As much as I talk about self love, being confident and the importance of accepting your body for what it is (and believe me, I could do that until the cows come home), I don’t wake up every single day feeling like a million bucks. There are days that I get dressed and no matter how many outfits I try on, I just feel blah in everything. Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I do nothing but pick apart my appearance. There are times when negative thoughts creep in to my head and I start listening to them.
I often get people saying to me “I wish I had your confidence” and I say the same thing to every one of them: it takes work. You can’t just do a degree in self love and magically have all the answers after a set period of time. You can’t undo years and years of negative self talk and societal messages about how you should look, think, feel, act overnight. Loving myself is something that I have to work at every single day.
The relationships that we have with our own bodies, they aren’t a straight line from A to B, they’re a journey with twists and turns and bumps in the road. Our bodies change: children, scars, experience, age, sickness, lifestyle – our bodies will change a lot. We need to nurture the relationships that we have with ourselves in the same way that we need to nurture a relationship with another person – it takes time, patience, effort. Sometimes there will be tears. Sometimes you might fight. But in the end, putting in that effort to create a positive, loving, fulfilling relationship is worth it – because you are worth it. You are worth the time spent learning to be confident in your body.
Unfortunately, there is no “to do list” of things that you can check off to help you love your body or be confident. I wish it were that easy! I have shared a few practical tips for loving the body you have right now (you can check them out here) – and if you’re wondering why I’m talking about this on a post of me wearing lingerie, it’s because that’s one of my practical tips: Wear things that make you feel fabulous. Beautiful lingerie makes me feel fabulous because it’s soft, it feels nice against my skin and it’s sexy. I don’t wear it for my lover, I wear it to help me feel good.
What makes you feel fabulous?
Meagan wears:
Toni Mesh Babydoll from Curvy Girl Lingerie (3X/4X, gifted)
Thanks Meagan!!! A super positive heartfelt encouragement! Love your work! <3
You gorgeous thing, this is beautifully written and such a great message. You are right we have to work at it every day, but it’s so worth it!
Thanks Mon xx
I think this post is really admirable, Meagan. It’s not always easy to love yourself or be positive all the time but acknowledging that is also super important. Having a down day doesn’t undo all the good work you’ve done. Much like exercise or eating healthy, one little blimp is not the end of the world. It’s great to get those days down to a minimum but it’s unrealistic to think they’ll disappear entirely.
I know my good days out number my bad days. And when I have a bad day, I have Michael who lifts my spirits and shows me how beautiful I am to him. That makes it easier 🙂
Absolutely Sam – people seem to think it’s an all or nothing thing, but it’s not. One thing I have noticed is that when i focus on those good days and those good things, the bad ones seem less and less of a big deal.
Totally agree! We have to cherish the good. It’s so important.
Great advice. To add my 2 cents’ worth, I would suggest you also need to surround yourself with positive people. People who are always down on themselves or who like you “in spite of” who you are (rather than “because of”) or who are always coming up with great “helpful tips” are not going to help you stay positive. They’ll be there to help lift you up when you are down, and friends like that are worth a million bucks.
– Chris
I totally agree Chris – I used to have a lot of people in my life who weren’t positive, and looking back I can see their negativity as clear as day! It was a great gift to myself, deciding to surround myself with positive people